Beyond Hope's Ridge Read online

  Beyond Hope’s Ridge

  Silver McKenzie

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

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  Once you choose hope, anything is possible.

  Christopher Reeve

  1

  A scream caught in Steph’s throat, her eyes flew open, and she sat up, adrenaline pumping through her body.

  She took a deep breath and reached for the glass of water on the bedside table as her alarm clock display cast a green glow in the dark room. It was only three.

  She threw off the bed covers and made her way to the kitchen, her heart still racing. Would the nightmares ever stop? More than a year had passed since the accident, and if anything, they seemed to be getting worse. She sighed. She was doing everything she could to try to move on. She practiced yoga most days, ate a clean diet, and was seeing Dan, the local psychologist, once a month, yet almost nightly, she was plagued with dreams of a little girl desperate for Steph to help her.

  She put a pot of water on the stove to boil and reached into the cupboard for her favorite chamomile tea. She automatically took two mugs from the shelf before giving a small shake of her head and returning one. The likelihood of Zane being home was slim. She was so glad things had worked out for her roommate and her sister. It was still early days in their relationship, only a month had passed since Zane quit his job and proved his love for Asha, but it was obvious to see they were meant to be together.

  “Yes, please.”

  Steph startled and spun around at the sound of Zane’s voice in the kitchen doorway. She brought her hand to her chest. “You gave me a heart attack! I thought you were with Ash tonight?”

  Zane grinned and stepped into the kitchen. “Nope. I’m here. I miss our middle of the night chats, so I need to make sure I’m home some nights.”

  Steph smiled as she took the second mug back down from the shelf and added some tea leaves to the infuser. “Why don’t you go out and light the heat lamp, and I’ll bring these out in a minute. It’s cold, but the sky’s clear, so it’s probably beautiful out there.”

  “I’ll grab a couple of blankets and see you out there soon,” Zane said.

  Steph organized a small tray for the mugs and teapot, and a few minutes later, she was sitting across from Zane, the night lit only by the heat lamp. She wrapped the blanket he held out to her around her legs.

  “More dreams about Holly?”

  Steph flinched. She rarely referred by name to the little girl who’d lost her life. It made it all too real. “They’re getting more vivid every night and she looks more and more desperate in each dream.” She shuddered picturing the little girl. “Her face is at the car window, her eyes wide with fear, and I’m paralyzed, unable to do anything to help. Can’t move, can’t scream, can’t do anything.”

  Zane’s eyes filled with sympathy. “I thought you said stress brought on the dreams. Has something happened?”

  Steph sighed. “Not really. I guess Buster’s played on my mind a little since the anniversary of the accident. I wanted to speak to him, explain how sorry I was that I’d been unable to save his little girl, but I’ve been too gutless to seek him out. Actually, I did see him in town a few weeks ago, and instead of seizing the opportunity, I turned and practically ran in the other direction. I guess that’s left me feeling another layer of guilt.”

  Zane’s smile was gentle. “There’s an easy solution to that. Buster doesn’t blame you. His ex-wife was driving, Steph. She’d been drinking and should never have been behind the wheel. I know Buster’s grateful you weren’t hurt and that your car didn’t follow hers into the lake. You need to speak to him, so you hear it for yourself.”

  Steph fell silent, her gaze fixing on a constellation high above the ridge in the distance.

  “Really, Steph. You should speak to him.”

  Steph brought her gaze back to meet Zane’s. “I don’t want him to feel like he needs to tell me it wasn’t my fault. I know I wasn’t to blame for the accident, but I contributed to it, and I was unable to save his daughter. Nothing will ever change those two things.”

  Zane opened his mouth to object, but Steph bought up a hand to silence him. “Let’s just enjoy the stars. Right now, I’m looking to escape the nightmares, not discuss them.” As a heaviness settled on her shoulders, Steph wondered, for the umpteenth time, whether she would ever escape these feelings.

  ❖

  Buster wiped his eyes and pushed himself up off the rock he’d been sitting on. It had been a mistake to come here. Surely he knew that by now. Lake Hopeful. What a joke. There was nothing hopeful about this lake. It had crushed his dreams and ruined his life. He made his way back across the lakefront to where he’d parked.

  It seemed like only moments, not thirty minutes later, that he was climbing out of his pickup in his driveway. The drive back to Drayson’s Landing had disappeared in a blur of memories.

  “Morning, Henry.”

  Buster forced a smile and waved to Mrs. Anderson, his elderly neighbor, as he shut the door of his truck.

  “Been anywhere nice this morning?”

  Buster hesitated, wondering for just a moment what she would say if he told her the truth; that he’d driven thirty minutes to the neighboring town of Hope’s Ridge to sit by the lake that had swallowed his daughter, hoping to feel close to her.

  She’d probably become teary and say what a lovely thing it was to do.

  Until he explained that the trip hadn’t done that. Instead it had brought back the memories of Holly’s death and, once again, left him wracked with guilt.

  “No, Mrs. Anderson. Just out for a little drive. And call me Buster. Everyone else does.”

  Mrs. Anderson tut-tutted. “I don’t care what anyone else calls you, I will call you by your christened name. My Henry would be turning in his grave to think you turned your back on such a strong identity. It means hero, you know.”

  “And your Henry was a true hero, Mrs. Anderson.”

  The older lady wrung her hands together. “And a gentleman too. Now I’ll let you go. Enjoy your day, Henry.”

  Buster couldn’t help but smile as he unlocked his front door and went inside. He would always be Henry to his neighbor.

  He kicked off his shoes, padded through to the kitchen, and placed a mug of water in the microwave. After the morning he’d had, he felt like a beer. But as it wasn’t even lunchtime, he would settle for instant coffee.

  He picked up a photo frame that sat on the kitchen counter—him and Holly on her fifth, and last, birthday. One of the moms who’d attended the small party he’d thrown for her had snapped the shot of the two of them laughing as they blew bubbles into the air. They were happy and carefree. Tears filled his eyes as he wished, for the millionth time, he could turn back the clock. Go back to that birthday, knowing what he did now, and have the ability to change what happened.

  He put the photo down as the microwave beeped, a lump expanding in his throat. Everywhere he looked in the house, there were memories of Holly. Her bedroom was still exactly as it had been the day she died, and while he rarely opened the bedroom door, there were reminders throughout the rest of the house too. There were reminders throughout their town, Drayson’s Landing, and the neighboring town of Hope’s Ridge, where Holly had died.

  He made his coffee and took it through the French doors that opened out onto a small back g
arden. He sat down at the table and did his best to ignore the playhouse and sandpit. It was impossible, though. He half expected Holly to push open the door of the playhouse and jump out to surprise him. What he wouldn’t give for that to happen. Or to beg him to let her bury him in the sandpit, just like they’d done so many times at the beach.

  Buster closed his eyes and sipped his coffee. He’d hoped that by now, he’d be coping better, but if anything, it was getting harder.

  He was beginning to think his mom might be right. That the only way he’d be able to move on was by having a fresh start. By moving away from Drayson’s Landing, Hope’s Ridge, and all of the places that were a constant reminder of his former life. She’d begged him after the accident to move back to the town of Tall Oaks, where his parents now lived, but his business was in Drayson’s Landing, and so, he’d thought, was his life. He’d hate to let down Travis, his business partner, but he couldn’t go on like this.

  He opened his eyes, relieved to have clarity about his decision. His mother was right, he needed a fresh start, and it was time to do something about it.

  ❖

  Steph wiped her face with a towel, the usual contentment she felt after teaching the early morning yoga class absent. She plastered on a smile as the class participants filed out of the room, many thanking her on the way. Usually, the energy of the class brought a genuine smile to her lips, and after her interrupted night, she’d been looking forward to the escape she knew the sunrise class would bring. Teaching and practicing yoga usually gave her a reprieve from the nightmares and feelings that plagued her. But not today.

  She waited until the last person left the room before collecting her own water bottle and mat and walking through to the reception area. Bodhi was chatting with one of the class participants, his face pale and lacking its usual enthusiasm. She’d never seen him look like this, and he’d certainly never walked out of one of her classes partway through like he had that morning. He hadn’t given her any suggestion that anything was wrong, but clearly, something was.

  “Want to talk about it?” she asked when he’d finished his conversation and they were the only two left in the studio.

  Bodhi looked briefly in her direction before returning his focus to the computer screen he’d been studying. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have walked out of class like that. It doesn’t send the best message to our clients.”

  Steph waited. What about the message it gave her? She couldn’t think of anything she could have done to upset her boss, but he’d never acted like this around her before.

  “Bodhi, you need to let me know if I’ve done something to upset you.”

  This time he met her gaze, his eyes filled with concern. “You’ve done nothing wrong at all, Steph. Which is what makes this hard.”

  Nausea swirled in the pit of Steph’s stomach. “You’re firing me?”

  Bodhi’s eyes widened. “What would make you think that?”

  “You’re acting strangely, that’s why.”

  Bodhi sighed. “Let me make us some tea, and I’ll explain what’s going on. Then you’ll see why this is so difficult.”

  Five minutes later, Steph sat opposite Bodhi in the small lounge area they’d created for their clients. Bodhi’s hand trembled as he brought his drink to his lips. Whatever was going on was affecting him. She nestled her mug against her chest, waiting for him to speak.

  “I don’t know how to tell you this, but I’ve decided to leave Hope’s Ridge.”

  Steph almost dropped her tea. Nothing had prepared her for this announcement. She sat forward in her chair. “What? Why?”

  “I need to be closer to my mom and dad. Dad’s dementia has gone downhill, and we’re going to have to move him into care. Some days, he doesn’t recognize Mom and starts screaming at her to get out of his house. As you can imagine, it’s upsetting her, and they can’t go on like that.”

  Steph reached across and squeezed Bodhi’s hand. “Of course, they can’t.”

  “I’m going to move in with Mom and help her out. She doesn’t drive, so she’ll need my help to visit Dad. I also think she’ll just need me around. Becca’s going to move back too. My sister’s lucky that she can transfer to the planning office in Tall Oaks. She’s started seeing someone there, so it’s working out quite well.”

  A lump rose in Steph’s throat. “But what about you? You’ve spent so long building up this place.” She gestured around the studio.

  “There are a few studios in Tall Oaks, so I expect I’ll be able to do some teaching. Depending on what happens with Dad, I might consider opening my own business again.”

  Steph nodded. “And what about Heat Wave?”

  “I need to sell it, Steph. I wanted to talk to you and offer you the first option, of course. I’ve been dreading telling you because I know how much you love working here, and I’m assuming purchasing it might be out of your reach.”

  Steph swallowed. He was right, she hardly had any savings, and her income barely covered her living expenses. She wasn’t in a position to buy a business. “I could run the business for you,” Steph said. “That way, you’d still have an income from it and the possibility to return to it down the road.”

  Bodhi shook his head. “I’m going to need the money from the sale of the business. Putting Dad into care isn’t going to be cheap. To be honest, if it isn’t you buying Heat Wave, then I would imagine someone will buy it for the land and buildings. The yoga business itself isn’t worth a lot. It’s the land I’m sitting on that could make a huge difference to my parents.”

  Steph blinked back tears. She loved working with Bodhi, and she loved Heat Wave. It was hard to imagine it being closed down.

  “You could still run classes,” Bodhi said. “Rent some space in town. It’s not the end of yoga for you.”

  “I know, but you’ve created an oasis here. A room in town won’t be the same.”

  “We created an oasis. In fact, you did most of it. You’ll do the same elsewhere. Your own home is a testament to that.”

  “Do you have anyone else in mind to buy it?”

  “I was hoping it would be you,” Bodhi said. “But I’ll have to chat with Andy. See if he’s got anyone on his realtor books that might be interested.”

  “Matt Law might be,” Steph said.

  Bodhi raised an eyebrow. “He’s the last person I thought you’d suggest after what he did to Asha. Buying the Sandstone Cafe and preventing her from taking on the lease she’d been promised was bad enough. But then having her evicted from her trading location and trying to close her business down took his vindictive streak to another level. I’m surprised you’d consider recommending him for anything.”

  Steph shrugged. “In amongst his awful behavior he’s done some good things for the town. He’s talked about a wellness center for a long time, although I don’t think it’s in his immediate plans.” She thought back to a conversation she’d had with Zane when rumors had circulated that Matt was going to build a yoga and wellness center as part of his Lake Drive development. “I think it’s a few years off for him, but it might be worth talking to him at least.”

  Bodhi nodded. “Thanks, Steph. I told Mom I’d move back at the end of the month. It gives me a few weeks to get things rolling at least for a sale. I realize it might take longer than that, and you’re welcome to keep running the studio after I’ve gone until a sale happens. Of course, if you set yourself up somewhere else, I’m happy for you to take our clients with you.”

  Steph nodded. She wasn’t sure what to say. It wasn’t a conversation or situation she’d anticipated.

  “I am sorry, Steph. I know I’ve let you down.”

  Steph’s heart contracted at the pain on Bodhi’s face. She retook his hand and squeezed it. “You haven’t let me down. Leaving to help your parents reconfirms what a selfless and amazing person you are. I just hope you’ll find happiness for yourself in Tall Oaks.” She smiled. “Remember, I’m a true believer that life unfolds as it’s meant to. We can’t plan e
verything or know what’s around the corner. We just need to roll with it.” Steph was glad to see the tension drain from Bodhi’s face. However, the irony of her advice didn’t go unnoticed. If only she applied it to each part of her own life, she might enjoy a full night’s sleep.

  ❖

  Buster collected the drawings he’d done for his newest client, glad that he’d spent the previous afternoon working and exercising rather than drinking, which after that morning by the lake had been a real possibility. He’d slept surprisingly well and was ready for the week ahead. A lightness had settled over him after making his decision the previous day. He did need a fresh start, and it was time to do something about it.

  He put the drawings, his computer, and work bag into his pickup and walked back inside the house. The only downside to his thoughts of a fresh start was leaving this home behind him, Holly’s home. He and his ex-wife, Eve, had bought the property the year after they’d married. The deterioration of their marriage after Holly’s birth meant the home was now filled with a combination of happy memories and sadness. It would be difficult to turn his back on those happy memories, but not on the sadness.

  He was drawn to his daughter’s room but stopped at the closed door. What would he do if he did sell the house and move? He’d have to pack up her room. Right now, he stood frozen outside it. If he opened the door, he’d have to deal with the overwhelming rush of emotions that would hit him. He didn’t have time for that before his meetings today. But thinking about moving made him realize he couldn’t imagine giving away his daughter’s clothes or toys. He needed to remind himself that Holly was in his heart and his thoughts, not in material possessions. Regardless, he knew it was still going to be hard.